Mangalore, Udupi, and the Wedding

On Sunday, A&C picked me up at 10 to go tourist-ing. We first went to see the St. Aloysious chapel where they were married. This is on the grounds of the St. Aloysious college (which is actually a high school. I think Alol told me that high school is grades n through 10 and 11 and 12 are called 'college' or 'early college' or something similar. In any case, Alol went there, and his father is/was a professor there, so they got to have their wedding in the chappel. We had to wait for a mass to finish, and then we went in. It is really beautiful...there are murals all over...it appears that around the side the pictures portray Bible stories about Jesus, some of which I recognized immediately, and the paintings on the ceiling represent the life of Saint. A. I was really glad to see it, not only because of its significance to my friends, and its beauty, but also because it is part of a connection; Catholics and to some extent Protestents from around the world would feel comfortable here and understand the significance. (I'm sure that is true of mosques, temples, etc too. This just happens to be more familiar to me, who grew up Protestent). We then decided to go to St. Mary's Island which, it turns out, is off the coast of Udupi. So we headed north. We ran into enormous traffic jams; the road was being repaired/rebuilt (4-laned) and there was a very narrow one-lane stretch. We also stopped for lunch and at the port to looke around, and generally enjoyed ourselves on the trip. We got to the ferry dock at probably 2:30? Then we had to wait until there were enough passengers...that took an hour or more. Finally we got on the boat and off we went. You might remember from my blog a few years ago my discussion of the cricket stadium where the seating was what I would have called plastic stacking lawn chairs? The seating on the boat was the same; these plastic chairs out on the rear deck. Unfortunately, these chairs are a lot more stable when the force they are resisting is going straight down. So besides the boat bounce around (a bit...probably 1 foot seas) the chairs added their own little wiggle. Alol's chair nearly tipped him out at one point. As we approached the island, it was clear we were really heading for another boat...it was a tender to take us in to the island. Ok. We climbed down the ladder into the tender and it took off. It was then I noticed that there was no dock and people were milling around in the water. Yes, we all took our shoes off, rolled up our pant legs, and jumped into a couple feet of water (ladder down almost to the surface). Great...my feet are usually not great for barefoot operation, but when in Rome. Besides there was no real choice. So I get onto the shore, a nice sandy beach, and we head inland. The island is essentially completely undeveloped, but there are some really interesting rock formations. I think maybe they are igneous intrusions, but geology was long ago and far away. In any case, the formations seems to be in the form of tubular hexagons of rock all packed together. (Somehow crystalline to form the hexagons?) It looked for the world like it was human made, but there was far too much, and no signs of anything else human (other than graffiti). Anyway, after walking out of the sand, I really needed to put my shoes and socks on. I was pretty please that contrary to my usual "issues" I was able to brush the sand off my feet (it had dried as I walked through the beach) and get shod. Anyway, I have some pictures of these formations. Sometimes there are dolphins to be seen here, but not today. But that's ok. We did not have much time because the last return boat was at 4:30. We went back the exact reverse way...through the water, pull up onto the ladder to the tender, put on shoes and socks, a short ride and another transfer to the main boat, and back we went. It was all quite a fun adventure. We had both lunch and dinner at restaurants with good Indian food. As I recall, I let A&C suggest/order for me so I don't have to much memory of exactly what I had except for this: Mangalore is a seaport (as you could tell), and the residents eat a lot of fish. Alol is very proud of Mangalore (as well he should be) and of the fish available there. So we did have a lot of fish dishes. I remember that we had Tandoori Prawn at one of the restaurants which was absolutely delicious. Other kinds of fish also...kingfish I think is one...in various curries and with sauces. All wonderful! The next morning (Monday) was the wedding. A&C picked me up as usual. I had been planning to wear ao suit (or to be specific, a jacket and tie) but Clarete discouraged me from doing that. Instead, I wore dress pants and a "kurta". Well, I think it is not REALLY a kurta but it served as one. This is a shirt that my Pune friends gave me last year when I visited them. A kurta is long, square, and split at the sides. It is worn outside the pants. This was not split at the sides, and was not completely square, but Clarete told me I should wear it out. Great...it turns out that I truly did fit right in. Now I'll copy from some mail I sent edited slightly since you will not all have context that I am referring to. Also understand that I am describing from my perspective. When I say the bride and groom sat around all morning, I'm sure that things were going on some of the time that I just could not perceive. The wedding was both fun and fascinating. First, when we arrived at the "wedding hall" I met Bhadresh and Shyam (whom I have seen as recently as last year) and Ram, who was away doing PhD study in the US for several years. Ironically, I have not seen him since he came to the US. But it was great to see them all! I had been told that there is a lot of milling around at Hindu weddings. Exactly right. It seems that the bride and groom were up on a stage most of the morning. Occasionally something would "happen", but most of the time, they were just there. At first they were separated by a cloth that people were holding up. Then at some point, they were both lifted up so they could see each other and exchanged "something". After that they sat in lotus position for while. I wandered up to the front of the hall (remember everyone was milling around, talking, laughing etc anyway) and started to take some pictures. Sandeep caught my eye and motioned me up on the stage. I noticed later than lots of random people were doing that as well. Mainly it required dodging the photographers. Anyway, I went up and took some closer pictures. Some ok, some not so good. You see there was also some sort of wood fire going so it was pretty smoky. Some of the pictures look "foggy". I did learn (maybe) a little of the symbolism. For example, Sandeep spent most of the morning holding a long stick. People joked that it was the last time that he would get to hold the stick in the family, but I was told that it is a walking stick. At some point during the day, he says that he is not going through with the wedding and starts off with the walking stick. The bride's family implore him to come back and marry their daughter and eventually he gives in. However, he keeps the stick just in case. (He gives up the stick after the ceremony :-) All the time there was a "band" playing, pretty much the same song the entire time (i.e. for hours). The band consisted of, get this, about 4 tenor saxophones, two drummers, and an electronic "shurti box" that just makes a sitar-y sound all the time. Think of the drone pipes on a bagpipe. I have some recorded. Eventually the big moment came (signalled by excited drumming and a general heightening of activity and loudness). Sandeep put a necklace on Sahana, she may have on him, and they walked round and round (the fire?) 7 times. Suddenly, the hall emptied out (except for the happy couple and random relatives, priests, etc on stage). We followed along to the meal. Another cool experience. Banana leaves in front of us, and "waiters" in a costume which is more or less a big wrap around the bottom, maybe a piece coming up over the shoulder, but otherwise naked from waist up.

Perhaps some Indian reader can tell me the name of what they are wearing? The priests also wore them, and I think Sandeep's father. The waiters bustled along the aisles, putting dobs of things on our leaves. Including an enormous scoop of rice. Not surprisingly the sauces were poured onto the rice about a few tablespoons per each. But there were dozens, if not scores of courses. It would not surprise me if there were 50 or 75 different items that we got little dollops of. And no silverware. We ate south Indian style with our hand (right hand), using fingers to form up a ball of rice and sauce. Unlike chopsticks, the trick is not the mechanical manipulation. It is getting the right consistency of rice and sauce. I tended to get either no sauce (and I could ball up the rice ok) or too much sauce (which was like picking up mush).  I was offered a spoon

but I turned it down. I wanted the full experience! After the meal, we went to the hand-wash place (thankfully...I was a worse mess than most on my right hand) and then back in to troop up to the stage to give our best to the bride and groom. The photographers made us greet them in groups of 6 or so and then arrayed us on either side and took a picture. Turns out that Bhadresh had a camera too and prevailed on one of the photographers to take one with that also, so I have a copy which I will eventually post somewhere (FB probably). Then back to a small hotel where Shyam had rented a couple rooms for men and women to change in and into the car. It is faster to drive to Mangalore and then across to Bangalore than to try a "short cut", so we went back through M. again with 5 people stuffed into the car (A&C, Shyam, and a friend of Alol's who needed a ride to Mangalore). Stopped for some famous Mangalore ice cream (yes, it was good) and then headed cross country with only 4. (Shyam had come from a different place by train or bus and going back to Bangalore with us had apparently been pre-arranged). So back across the same roads, arriving in Blr at maybe 12:30 or 1. They were nice enough to take me to my hotel first, where I checked in and dropped off. I heard later that A&C did not get in until quite a lot later after after taking Shyam home and getting to their own.